1. If you’re (sorry, yurr) reading this you probably have eyes or some apparatus  for seeing. So first off, congratulations on that. You’ll go far here.
2. We hear you saying: “Hey. If we were blind, say, blind salamanders at the bottom of some cave in Texas though, who knows how we’d get our WYTX on.”"O wait,” we’d rejoinder, “radio[,] sugar.”
3. That’s right: we just called you sugar. And sometimes we don’t get our call sign right. Whatever: we got a jingle–what do you got [see note 1.]?
4. You may have seen, with yurr amazing seeing powers, this here poster (above: try again) elsewhere. And you can see more here.
5. We hear you saying, “WYTX, why you doing this weird Gladwell-esque numbering shit with yurr facts.”  We hear you,guy, but like the blind salamander before us, we are just going to pretend you don’t exist and chill in the recess between these rocks for a while until certain beneficial mutations in our genes allow us not to hear the utter-garbage spillin’ out yurr mouth right now.
6. With yurr seeing apparatuses (not apparati, dork) you may also notice the hypertext – like just there, now. Good. Just go with it. Like 127-Hours -style. Go.
7. But also know that there are things not so easy to be seeing. Spooky Scoob.
8. But we’re here for you. Remember that. Right here [WYTX touches approximately where yurr heart is]. And here.

LOVE, THE STAFF

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters of your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. If this had been an actual emergency, [OPTIONAL-- STATIONS MAY MENTION THE TYPES OF EMERGENCIES LIKELY IN THE AREA] the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This station [OPTIONAL -- INSERT STATION CALL SIGN] serves the [OPERATIONAL AREA NAME] area. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

This is a test. This station [OPTIONAL -- INSERT STATION CALL SIGN] is conducting a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.